Friendly Sacrifices

A favorite example of Lenten sacrifices comes from Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest and commentator for National Public Radio. On Shrove Tuesday (Mardi Gras, the day before Lent) in 2006, he delivered a segment on All Things Considered that is worth revisiting again and again:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5238122

Father Martin outlines a reasonable explanation of typical Lenten practices as he relates his personal story. As a college student, his explanation of Lent to his roommate fell short of convincing, leading his roommate to suggest a real sacrifice, giving up orange soda for Lent. Thus started an enduring tradition of allowing a friend to name the sacrifice to be made each year.

There is much to be said for this practice. First, it is brutally honest. Each of us admits to certain shortcomings and Lent can be an attempt to address some of the more glaring commissions or omissions. But we are also masters at self-deception, inflating the worth of the things we give up or overestimating the benefits to our spirituality. By trusting another to specify what is appropriately difficult, we avoid lying to ourselves.

Second, it is relational. Many typical Lenten observances focus on individuality - personal spirituality, self-sacrifice, private suffering. This penance includes others and draws them in to a joint experience, initially for the setting of the goal, but also for accountability as Lent progresses. It is easy to imagine the mutual support resulting from swapping sacrifices, as well as shared joy at finally breaking the fast. Practiced repeatedly, year after year, this tradition strengthens bonds of friendship and engenders responsibility for one another. Encouraging this sense of community seems especially Christian.

Finally, stepping out in faith and taking a risk, even if it is confined to close friends, provides an opening for the Holy Spirit. There is a better chance for learning about personal fears, limitations and capabilities, as well as a glimpse into another's viewpoint. Life lessons rarely happen when the situation is under control, when we have it all together. Rather, it is when the illusion of self-determination is abandoned, scary as that often is, precisely then is growth enabled. As Father Martin observed, things outside our control become crosses we must accept, just as Jesus bore His cross.

May God lead you to trust a friend in new ways this Lent.